How To Face Your Fears

Last night I had the worst nightmare I've ever had before.

Worse than anything.

Because.

It's real.

I had a dream that I was failing out of college. Then I woke up and remembered. My GPA.

I'm not failing. Thank God.

But I need to step it up.

I think this nightmare was a sign.

Thank God.

I woke up and opened up my computer after lying there, eyes open in absolute darkness, tossing and turning in the sheets. I opened up the Agora portal and went to my degree audit. I planned out what grades I needed to "succeed" in the next two years. I calculated. On my iPhone's calculator that you pull up from the bottom of the screen then it almost becomes the screen. Almost.

3.

That number will haunt me forever. It's a scar.

I didn't cry this time, though. It didn't hurt in the same way.

I'm beginning to face my fears.