Being Back On this Bed Makes Me Think

I fell in love again. I know it's a mere infatuation but at this point I can admit that I am obsessed. I can admit that I am trying to rush things again. I am admitting I need to relax.

This feeling, overconsuming my thoughts at every waking hour, is different than before. It's not a crush- in fact, it was never a crush. How much of it is reciprocated is unknown to me and makes me fall even harder.

Here I am trying to contain myself, control my animal within me. I finally feel the fire behind my eyes again. My demons are coming back to me, those once released from the sadness that overtook me some years ago. 

I am growing darker, more cynical, more introspective. Ironically all in a positive light to the outside observers. I am grabbing the reigns and detoxing myself. Cleaning my physical body and healing my mental. Ironically all because my demons came back to me.