To begin, I don't think it is fair to call myself religious when I have not been devout to one faith for my life. I was raised with a mix of both Christianity and Hinduism, however not practicing either to an even normal extent. I only celebrate holidays, I only attend church/temple for ceremonies at this point in my life. Neither of my parents practice, either, but they were both raised in strict hindu homes and both strangely enough attended Catholic schools.
I do not believe in a "higher power"- I do not believe that there is a man up somewhere we call "God". I do not believe in heaven or hell because modern science disputes this with tangible evidence as we know the constituents of the atmosphere and the center of the Earth. I do not believe that the Bible nor the Bhagavad Gita are anything more than spiritual stories developed over time to comfort the disturbed. I consider myself to follow more of the Gita than the Bible, but both have lessons that we can all learn from, when heeded with humility and genuine love for others.
I do believe that there is a higher order, though, and this is why I claim to be spiritual. The basis of chemistry (especially Biochemistry, my major) is thermodynamics. Any given system and its surroundings make up the universe. We theorize that the universe we are in is infinitely expanding and degrading simultaneously, and because of this, it is possible that any given point can be the center of the universe. Thermodynamics dictates that the universe tends towards higher entropy: chaos, randomness, disorder. This is a factor of what we call [Gibbs] Free Energy, the other being physical heat (enthalpy). Organize this energy, and you drive the crucial processes that give life. The Big Bang Theory is a model we use to explain the creation of the world, the beginning of the ordering process that creates the universe in which we occupy today. We as humans want to create order- we always want to explain everything.
The death of my grandfather, the first death that is so close to home for me in my lifetime, has enlightened me on explaining my concept of "higher order". Maybe you have heard the saying, "we are all made up of star dust that has existed since the beginning of time". This fundamentally makes sense if we consider that matter cannot be created nor destroyed, since "star dust" will be recycled throughout time, meaning that we are all parts of our predecessors, dinosaurs, ancient plants, rocks, minerals. This is the matter of it all though, only the physicality of it all. Thinking more deeply now, you must wonder how can matter not be created but it all had to be created from something at some point, like we theorize? Inherently, this is contradictory in nature, a flaw that we have as humans.
I explain this contradiction with my knowledge of Free Energy. Think about the disparity between what scientists (psychologists) call the brain vs. the mind. The brain is the physical entity, subject to damage and disease. The mind, however, is the thought process, the contemplation, the intangible. Although affected by the physical, the mind is something that we cannot access in others the way we can perform lobotomies and access the brain in others. This is true of the physical body made up of star dust vs. the soul, or the contained, organized energy. There is so much Free Energy in the world to drive living processes, ordered into higher forms of life such as animals and plants. This energy is what is contained within the soul, it is our mind. Our bodies are containers for this energy like the brain is the container for the mind. When we die, the energy is released once more into the surroundings from the system (body) as Free Energy, we grow cold because the enthalpy dissipates so fast. We do not go to heaven, we do not go to hell. We are in the universe we always were in, however not anymore imprisoned in the physical manifestation of star dust subject to disease and decay. We are at peace when we die because we are free again, the energy released back to the natural state of things, increasing entropy.
So how I support the Big Bang Theory is from this, that there was so much Free Energy at one given moment that a single spontaneous event occurred, and the energy collapsed within itself to create something much more ordered than it has ever been.
This gave me peace because my grandfather is always going to be in my surroundings as Free Energy, and he will always be physically part of me, as we share the same star dust.
To my dearest Aja, I know you may not be able to read this, but I know that you will feel my vibes, my contained energy. You were the patriarch of this incredible family. You are the bloodline. I love you, I love you so much I myself cannot begin to hold back tears. I see you in my father, I see you in my chachas, my brother, my cousins, and especially in myself. I love you, I have always loved you and appreciated you and looked up to you and respected you SO incredibly much. You are now the center of my universe. I pray because the vibes from my prayers are my only communication to you now. I pray because I cannot thank you enough, my soul is forever indebted to yours and will only be set free when I die too.
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